More weekend pic whoring...

Yes, I'm experiencing the symptoms of writer's block. How disdainful this experience is!!! In the meantime, enjoy my subtle picwhoring.

Music: Whiter Shade of Pale
Artist: Sarah Brightman/Annie Lennox

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Benneth's birthday dinner with the Kindest Four.

Meng and Ian

Aha! Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf at The Grove Mall in LA

Something from the recent past... Boracay 2005

Me after jogging at Station one

Such wonderful memories. I don't know if Jim and Kristine is okay with me posting this one, but I figured that since it is my blog, I'd go ahead. These two are such an envious couple. I am extremely glad to be part of their lives.

And the last image would be that of my niece Isabelle. Such an angelic gift from heaven. Did I mention that we share the same birthday and we're both the youngest in the family. Seriously, how coincidental can that get?

Slowdown

Its been more almost more than a week since I last posted. I've been terribly busy with work that I almost died. A lot of things has been taking place here in the office. People leaving, new stuff to be learned, more projects to be rolled out... its just good business. As we all know, more work means more stability with our team. Interesting times are coming ahead with the changes that are bound to take place. Question is, will I still be around when that happens?

************

Yes, my prayers have been answered. I asked for a chance and a number of opportunities opened its doors to me. Yes, I am trying my luck with all of them. My new catchy phrase lately is "It is better to have choices than have none at all." Indeed it is wonderful to have something to choose from. Still, my plans on moving to the East Coast is something I will not lose track of. All of these I am doing today will be going to that direction. So far, the coast has been clear, thus I am taking full advantage of these chances whilst they are around.

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Mum's back and I am very happy that she's here. I did miss her a lot as I've no Sunday Lunch date. :( Now she's back and we're the Sunday lunch tandem again. I am thankful that she has always been very supportive of my plans in life. Without strong people to push me, I'm pretty sure that I would still be stuck in the middle of nowhereville.

************

I'd like to thank Ruben (a nice lad I met online) who helped me find the Underground remix of Bjork's Human Behaviour.

That would be all for now...

Music: Akap
Artist: Imago

Nagtatanong
bakit mahirap
sumabay sa agos
ng iyong mundo

Nagtataka
Simple lang naman sana
Ang buhayKung ika'y matino

Sabihin sa akin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sa akin ang problema mo
kakayanin ko

Pikit mata
kong iaalay
ang buwan at araw
pati pa sapatos kong suot

Nagtatanong
simple lang naman sana
ang buhaykung ika'y lumayo

Sabihin sa akin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sa akin ang problema mo
kakayanin ko

Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit Sasamahan ka

Sabihin sa akin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sa akin ang problema mo
kakayanin ko

Another Stormy Weekend
Yes. Rain on a Saturday. What else could be more fabulous than this? Rainwater pelting on leather shoes, wrinkling it to deformity. Ugh. Worse part is I don't have an umbrella or jacket to shield me from the wetness. Totally unglamorous.

Anyway, here's a song by one of my favourite divas, Sarah Brightman.

I recall watching her Harem world tour here in Manila. It was a feast for the senses. Music, dance and songs were all overflowing with beauty and luster. I do hope that I get the chance to watch here live performance again. Who knows, maybe in UK. ;)

For now, I need to nourish myself. I am literally starving to death.

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Music: Gueri De Toi
Artist: Sarah Brightman

Il reste de nous des bouts de ruine
Des pans de murs anciens, des pierres où l'on devine
Que la vie fut belle et riche, avec tant d'amour en prime
Avant que le temps ne l'abîme

J'ai guéri de toi, guéri de toi
Je n'ai presque plus mal
J'ai guéri de toi, guéri de toi
Juste à peine un peu froid
Mais guérie de quoi? Guérie de quoi?
Si l'amour m'est égal?
J'ai presque plus mal, juste un peu froid ...
Là

J'envie la fille qui dort dans les bras qui me tenaient
Son coeur bât-il autant que le mien quand il battait?
Les mots que tu dis tout bas, j'avais raison d'y croire aussi
Avant que le temps m'ait trahie

J'ai guéri de toi, guéri de toi
Je n'ai presque plus mal
J'ai guéri de toi, guéri de toi
Juste à peine un peu froid
Mais guérie de quoi? Guérie de quoi?
Si l'amour m'est égal?
J'ai presque plus mal, juste un peu froid...
Là

J'ai guéri de toi, guéri de toi
Je n'ai presque plus mal
J'ai guéri de toi, guéri de toi
Juste à peine un peu froid
Mais guérie de quoi? Guérie de quoi?
Si l'amour m'est égal?
J'ai presque plus mal, juste un peu froid ...
Là

Insensitive or Childish?

I recall my mum telling me off whenever I've come off being too bratty as not getting things my way. It came to me that this is a common trait among youngest kids in the family. I may not be a psychologist nor a sociologist to back up my theory, but what I am saying is is definitely true. If you're a keen observer, this is definitely a common behaviour.

***********

I've been reflecting on the past relationships in my life, and looking back showed me that I have an extreme personality when it comes to expressing my love.

1. I am not showy. I may be amiable to most people, but never to my lover.

2. I dislike public display of affection or intimacy. As much I'd like to hold hands or even kiss with the one I love in public, its all in my dreams. You'l never catch me in public doing such acts, and yet I still love you.

3. I have been named to be quite uncompassionate, but in my defence, it just so happened that I choose to do intimate things at the proper places (not unless my mind is fucked up, stoned or plastered).

4. I easily let go. It has been my personal belief that is something is not meant for you, let go. I'm not one person who'd force his way to someone who can't reciprocate what I can give. (LIES!!! - I actually fell for someone who I loved so much, but he just liked me and I became bitter as he ended up with a woman).

5. Clingy. That is too simple to expound. Funny how I am capable of contradicting myself. Yes. I was in a relationship wherein he ended our affair and I refused to believe that it was over. It took me 3 years to overcome such disgrace. I can't believe that I fell for someone whose ego almost matched mine. Lesson learned? Similar poles repel.


So those are the five (5) things I that made me realise that I can be impossible to be with. I'm lucky to have friends who go out of their way to understand the crazy person that I am. I'm even luckier to have had relationships with three (3) months being the longest and one (1) week being the shortest.

I am not calling out for someone to have pity on me by becoming my other half. I just want someone who can be with me and retain his ownself and yet offer a piece of him to love me.

***********

Music: Akap
Artist: Imago

Babble Away

I've been so aimless this week. Saw a hilariously insane film with the infamous Sunday group. It was something I've missed for two and a half weeks. Quite nice to be in an area I am familiar with.

I wore the boots I bought in SFO for the first time and they were quite smashing. The pink shirt did its job of reflecting the mood I was - warm blooded.

We had dinner at Krocodile Grille and laughed the night away. Exchanging stories and one line come-backs ranging from raunchy to blatantly offencive. Hah! The group proved its nastiness as people dining were looking at us as we dined.

It was nice to see my dear Cherub. It has been quite a while since I last spent time with her. We all loved each other's company that night. In other words, it was just perfect.

Anyway, I'm soooooooo procastinating right now. I've tonnes of tasks to accomplish before Friday comes. Let's see how the cramming will go along starting tomorrow. :)

Here are the songs lingering in my mind for the past two weeks.

Music: The First Cut Is The Deepest
Artist: Sheryl Crow

I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and she's taking almost all that I've got
but if you want, I'll try to love again
baby I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest,
Baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
'cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst

but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

I still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
cause I'm sure gonna give you a try
and if you want, I'll try to love again
but baby, I'll try to love again, but I know

The first cut is the deepest,
baby I know The first cut is the deepest
'Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know The first cut is the deepest

******************

Music: Glory Box
Artist: Portishead

I'm so tired, of playing
Playing with this bow and arrow
Gonna give my heart away
Leave it to the other girls to play
For I've been a temptress too long
Just. .

Give me a reason to love you
Give me a reason to be ee, a woman
I just wanna be a woman

From this time, unchained
We're all looking at a different picture
Thru this new frame of mind
A thousand flowers could bloom
Move over, and give us some room

Give me a reason to love you
Give me a reason to be ee, a woman
I just wanna be a woman

[INSTRUMENTAL]

So don't you stop, being a man
Just take a little look from our side when you can
Sow a little tenderness
No matter if you cry

Give me a reason to love you
Give me a reason to be ee, a woman
Its all I wanna be is all woman
For this is the beginning of forever and ever
Its time to move over...

********************

Music: Dare Me
Artist: Pointer Sisters

I've got a chip on my shoulder with your name on it -
knock it off.
So don't just stand there foolin' if you don't want it -
knock it off.
I say you're either a lover or you are a liar.
So don't you push too hard
you're playin' with fire.

Baby make your move step across the line
Touch me one more time
come on dare me!
I wanna take you on
I know I can't lose
I'll be loving you
if you just dare me.

Looks like you're lookin' for trouble

And I'd say you found it - you found it.
You'll have to come right through me
There's no way around it - you found it.
I hope that lean hungry look means what it's saying.
'Cause I'm just sittin' on ready
ready and waiting.

Baby make your move
step across the line . . .
Come on and dare me.

If there's any truth behind your intentions
This night's gonna end up on fire - you better believe it.
You better believe it oh baby. Oh
dare me dare me dare me.

Baby make your move step across the line . . .

Baby make your move step across the line . . .

Baby make your move step across the line . . .

********************

Music: Cool
Artist: Gwen Stefani

It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life...
Passes things get more comfortable
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool

Picture Whoring

Yeah, I'm indulging in pic whoring so enjoy!!!


Therese and Audrey



Chris, Audrey and me
















Labour Day Weekend Cook Out in Mass.
















Poker night in Stillwater Manor
















Red Sox Game vs Orioles at Fenway

The Real World

This is the first post that I'll be making since I got back from the US. It is quite a mixture of emotions that I cannot contain. Right now, I feel that I can be the strongest and most stable person I will ever be. I am a man with a mission. A mission to work on finding a way (legally, of course) to live in the East Coast.

I've had quite a number of discussions with friends, co-workers and family about the plans I have. I am glad that there is an overwhelming support emanating from them. I am so thankful on having such wonderful people around me. That alone fuels me of my goals in life.

*************

Like I've mentioned in my previous entries, I have to take a bold step of making decisions outside my comfort zone. I've always been living on the safe side and barely took risks. This time, I will muster all of the courage I have in my being to take progressive moves in working towards my goal. As Kathy said to me, tough times will always be part of working on achieving something. Sacrifices needs to made and I will be making and taking them as I have no choice.

**************

People have been leaving. What's up with that? Have I been an influence on people leaving work for other possible opportunities? Is it that time of our lives when we've reached our crossroads and carry on the pursuit for career stability and personal maturity? I know I am at this phase and am very glad to know what I want to do. I was expecting changes around me to take place, but never thought of it to happen this way. Yeah, yeah. Things never go as we always plan them. I need to understand that part of life.

**************

We have a game later. I'm hoping our team does well. For now, I'm folding as I have to rest.

PEACE.

Music: Il Mio Cuore Va

Artist: Sarah Brightman

If You're Going To SFO...

...be sure to wear flowers in your head. As the song goes. When I got here, it was all gloomy and cloudy. Dragging myself and suffering silently was the mood that prevailed. Its all better now. I had a heart to heart talk with Kathy about my plans on leaving work after a year, moving on to pursue what I've came to realise... live in the East Coast.

*************

It was like talking to mum when I opened up to Kathy. With open arms, she gave me all the consolation I needed and the advice I could get. I'm so thankful that she is around for me to seek help with. I would normally talk to mum about these things, but since she's on vacation, I'd rather have her enjoy time away from it all. Thanks Kathy!

*************

It feels so liberating to have someone listen to your problems, and let you know what they think. I'm thank and lucky to have these people around me to talk to. I have a handful who are definitely my trusted friends (Da Original Sunday Group). I just want to give a shout out to you guys! I'll be seeing you on Sunday!!!

*************

Music: I Need To Be Next To You
Artiste: Leigh Nash

Last Leg

Here I am in San Francisco. The last leg of my vacation hath cometh. Somehow, when I left NE, I felt that I was leaving my second home. It was painful and difficult for me to swallow the fact that I need to do things the right way or else I'd be eating my very own words. Is it Pride? No. It is just the right thing to do. Leave a company in a respectful manner, as I intend to use them as my reference. Now, I have a more solid grasp of what I want to do. I am decided that I will be moving to the US. Where? New England. How? That would be the next problem.

************

Having been able to figure out what I really want to do with my life was something I worried about in my college years. I can firmly say that I had a strong sense of what I wanted to achieve in life. Things changed when I started working. The "Perfect or Ideal" setting in life has been non-reflective on how my life really is. With this recent trip to the US, I had definitely found what I wanted to do... to move out and live here in the US. New England. The big challenge for me now is how I intend to achieve that goal. Is it possible at all? I know it is. Definitely luck would help, but skill is the first requirement. PLUS, I need to learn how to drive. :D

*************

I want to thank Jim and Kristin for having been such wonderful hosts during my entire stay in the East Coast. Thank you for being so open and warm. Having spent precious moments with you guys makes me feel part of the family. Wherever we go through these trying times, I hope we stay in touch. I would surely love to visit you guys again sometime in 2007. Who knows, the next time I travel, it might be for good.

A BIG TIGHT HUG TO JIM AND KRIS and the rest of the New England peeps!

*************

Music: Reflections
Artiste: Paul Van Dyk

Last Day in New England

I dread of this day coming, and finally it has taken over. Tomorrow, I am leaving for San Francisco. The final leg of my trip is here.

*************

I was torn yesterday (and I still am today) about staying and going back. So I asked a very dear friend of mine, and she asked me two questions about how I will survive (place to stay and financials). From there, it was very obvious that I need to exit my company as graceful as possible. Afterwards, work EXTRA hard on getting employment here in the US.

I am praying hard that someone takes interest in hiring me.

To employer who reads this, here is my resume.

http://www.90683.com/ian/Ian_Crystal_Resume_v4(1).doc

*************

I loved the pics of the whole trip here in New England. It is so memorable and when I move out here to the US, it will definitely be here in NE.

*************

Music: Enjoy The Silence
Artiste: Depeche Mode

More of NE

So I was able to see my picture online of the game at Fenway



http://www.printroom.com/ViewGalleryPhoto.asp?userid=fanfoto&gallery_id=246695&image_id=10

It was really an awesome experience for me to have watched the Red Sox at historical Fenway Park. Nothing is ever going to replace that.

************

I have tomorrow and Wednesday as my last days here in New England. I am honestly torn on going home and staying here. I have confided to Gibs about this. Jim and Kristin were also telling me that I should move here and start over. I really want this and I'm not denying it. The only problem is how. Gibs told me that its not selfish to think of your own career growth, especially after the times that I've been thinking of others' welfare. I know this as I would always forego every oppotunity I have for other people's sake. I'm not getting any younger. Gibs told me to pray for it to happen. Well, I am praying for things to happen. And to those who read this, it may not sound as the best decision, but I am asking for your prayers to be able to decide on this. I thank you all and God for always being here for me.

*****************

Music: If She Knew What She Wants
Artiste: Bangles

Arduous Sunday

It was probably one of the best Sundays of my life. Having been to the Historical Fenway Park and watching the Boston Red Sox play against the Baltimore Oreoles. I'm not sure about how the stats of the game were, but all I know is I had fun. Yes. I had fun.

*****************

We went to a place by the lake (Andrea and Ben invited us) to play poker and chill out. It was a very serene environment. The placid water, the gentle breeze, the nice people... everything fell into place. Then it hit me, I think I'm in love with this place. But I also felt a big THUD coming over me. I noticed that in this part of the world, you can pretty much have anything you like as long as you worked very hard for things. In Manila, things are difficult, but it seemed easy to feel good about life even if the circumstances can be overwhelming. I am torn. Perhaps, I should try visiting Australia or London next time. I'm pretty sure it would be a totally different experience and all.

*****************

Alcohol and smoking was something I've given up on for the longest time. Being here in the US led me back to the drinking part. The habit is still in check. As for smoking, I felt like I was going to give up. Then I figured, I've gone too far in kicking the habit yet I'm being pulled. STOP. There, the habit is in check.

*****************

I'm still single. I think I'll stay that way for now. I'm too much self absorbed to have someone spend his miserable time with me. That would be totally unfair.

*****************

Music: No More Words
Artiste: Berlin

This is something I got from my email.

Pursue What You Want And You'll Get It

When you're sure you're on the right road to success you don't have to plan your journey too far ahead. Don't burden yourself with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar your progress.

You dont need to know all your answers in advance. Just have a clear idea of the goal you want to reach. You can only take one step at a time.

If you can muster up the courage to begin, you'll find the courage to succeed.

It's the job you never start that always takes the longest to finish.

Eighty percent of success is in showing up.

Saturday Cook Out

Labour day weekend has taken over the US. This is the first holiday I've spent with a group of really cool people whom I've only met once (twice for most of them). We went to a cook out hosted by Andrea. She was a very good host, made sure everyone was comfy and well fed. I loved the burgers, hotdogs and kebabs. Oh, it was also my first time to experience jello shots. They're jello made with part water, part vodka. The food was all good, and the company was all great.

*****************

Okay, I promised not to sulk and stuff, but I can't help it. The people I'm hanging out with are all in a relationship. I feel alone. Everyone was pretty much with someone. Its not self pity. Perhaps, I am suffering silently. The time I've been spending here in the US is awesome. I pretty much guessed that I would be much happier if I had someone to share this time with. Cliche? Perhaps yes. *SIGH* Yeah, so I'll have to wait until my time comes. Until then, I'll savour the time I spend with my friends and family.

*****************

So tomorrow I'll be watching my very first baseball game. And what special occasion it would be as I'll be seeing the Boston Red Sox in Fenway Park I'm quite excited and I hope I don't look stupid as I have am not in the know of the game. I hope the Red Sox win.

*****************

Its Saturday evening and I am home. I wanted to go out, but my hosts are tired. I hope they're not tired of me. See, if I had a man of my own, we'd be snugglin and more. So, I'll just keep on waiting.

*****************

Music: Enjoy The Silence
Artiste: Depeche Mode

This Is Your Night

I arrived here in Boston last Wednesday, almost close to midnight. Jim and Kristin picked me up from the airports and we all instantly connected like long three (3) years were just weeks. Things are very well planned. We got tonnes of stuff to do.

**************

We went shopping today at the mall and I was so damn lucky to find some of the things that I needed to buy. Got the lovely pair of brown shoes, pink shirt and new pair of boot fit gap jeans. Just fab! Man. There are a lot of good looking peeps here in New England (quite a handful of freaky ones too).

**************

So I watched the Rhinos play the finals of roller hockey today. The game was very tight. They were missing some of their key players and yet they pulled through to a tie game. In the overtime, (sudden death game) that's when they lost to the opponents. Well, they put up a good fight to the end. Now, its time to get ready for the next game.

**************

We had dinner at the 99 Resto. It was really good. I loved the food (fish and chips plus the seafood chowder). Tomorrow, I'll be teaching Kristin how to make lumpiang shanghai (Springrolls). That'll be extra fun. Well, Mr. Sandman hath sprinkled the sleeping dust. Nightey night!!!

**************

Music: Heaven Is A Place On Earth
Artist: Belinda Carlisle