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Saturday, November 25, 2006
QUE TE CALLAS IDIOTA!Today was a day that could've been a great day to meet my possible and yet all I did was snub all of those chances. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?Am I being too righteous to the point of sacrificing my personal happiness for my family's sake? Or am I scared shit that when they find out that I'm gay and have a relationship with another man and disown me? When I rode the MRT this morning on my way to Fitness First Fort, I was beside this guy who was good looking. We caught each other's eye and began to make a connection. All I did was to smile and look the other way. I didn't know what I was thinking, but everytime I gazed upon him, he drew a smile towards me. I smiled back again and looked somewhere else. STUPID ME! For all I know, he just wanted to make friends. STUPID STUPID STUPID!*sigh* I have got to do something about these things. I am condemning myself for trying to find happiness...all because of fear of my family, fear of my creator, and fear that my religion shall send me to the depths of hell. My religion taught me how to fear God, love God, hate everything that is evil and unholy. I have accepted myself for what and who I am, but this credo is what's killing me.********************Artist: Sweetest TabooMusic: SadeAlbum: Sade Live
 
Thursday, November 23, 2006
You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)We're halfway done the month of November and Thanksgiving weekend is here. Its uncanny that time is flying by so fast and everything is gone in a blur. One should cherish each and every minute of life because you know its never coming back.*****************Its been two weeks that I've been sick. This is not good. I will be seeing a doctor on Monday and I hope that I'd be able to get better treatment and get well.*****************The gang's in Bohol for a holiday treat. Somehow I'm so envious of their time off from city life. If I had the money I would've joined, but its just that I'm still financiall strapped and I'm trying to make sure that my finances are in the right stage, I just want to make a committment to myself that I'll be more disciplined on how I spend. I know 2007 is going to be a promising year, yet there's still a month and half of 2006 that will change my life for the better.*****************Music: Otro Dia Mas Sin VerteArtist: Jon SecadaAlbum: Jon Secada*****************P.S. New tagboard. Post away peeps!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Holiday SeasonIts holiday season again. 'tis the season to be jolly! Everywhere you go, decorations and shopping items abound.To date, I'm still not feeling the holiday spirit. I've been sick on and off. My nose has been like a clogged faucet leaking with green stuff. Eww.Anyway, I'm going to see a doctor on Monday and hope that she'll make this sickness gone. I was looking forward to the Baguio trip, but I'm thinking twice about money and my health. I've also decided to use the money for the trip to help Oi's Welcome House. I feel that those kids deserve more out of life and could use our help to experience a much better life. :)********************Last Monday, we went to old Manila (Binondo and Ongpin) and SM Mall of Asia. I told Benneth that the Sunday group should definitely make a special trip to Ongpin and have authentice Chinese food in Chinatown. Surely, that would be ultrafantastic.Then, we could also waste away at SM Mall of Asia. The sunset view there is very much soothing to the tired soul. Still nothing beats sunset at Boracay. :) Boracay 2007 countdown has begun!!! In the meantime, I need to start filling out the Christmas cards I'll be sending out on behalf of my family.********************Music: My Love (Paul Oakenfold Radio Edit)Artist: Justin Timberlake
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
NosebleedMy bloody nose is sooooooo stuffed up. Meds are not working. I am so hoping that my nose will get better.*************Lea Salonga songs have been stuck in my head. :)*************Music: Muntik Na Kitang MinahalArtist: The Company
Sunday, November 12, 2006
2nd YearNovember 12, 2006 marks dad's 2nd year of passing away from life on Earth. I'm still sad when I recall on how he departed from this life, yet I am now much happier that he's up in Heaven enjoying the eternal peace that we're all destined to have.It was quite surreal when we went to the cemetery. I haven't visited for months. Being there offered a feeling of peace and calm amidst all of the hardships and chaos going on out there. Flowers for dad and lola. Prayers were offered in their loving memory. The family indulged in a small talk whilst the gentle afternoon breeze passes throughout the afternoon.I guess, I can finally say that I have completely accepted dad's passing. Moving on is now easier. Just a little more financial help from God, I'm pretty sure we're all going to be fine. :)****************Music: LandslideArtist: Fleetwood Mac
Friday, November 10, 2006
It's A New Day Kids! Carry On!Finally, the result of the HR deliberation came out last Tuesday evening. After careful their review, they deemed that only one charge level against me should be reprimanded. With that, they gave me a Written reprimand. I pondered to see if this was something that I deserved, and after looking through it all, indeed, I am comfortable with that decision.Thus, I can consider this case closed. I thank God and the powers that be who listened to our prayers. I also thank all of those people who have shown their trust in me. I am deeply grateful for your support and help. :)And to those who are causing a raucuous of this issue, I pray that your minds be enlightened. Move on with your lives is the most recommended course of action.********************Dad's 2nd death anniv is coming up this Sunday. How fast time flies is something none of us can control. I miss him and hope that he is happy up in Heaven. I also hope that he helps my mum be able to overcome her challenges so she can start fresh. She needs it that much, please. So we'll be going to the cemetery to have a simple prayer rite and moments of silence. Afterwards, we'll be heading off to a mini-family thanksgiving dinner. Where? We're still trying to figure it out. But definitely it will not be at an expensive place as I am a bit financially tied.I've been praying that I win the jackpot in the lottery so that I could pay all of my dues and my mum's as well. Then start a new life.I'm pretty sure that there's no harm in asking for that wish to come true. Definitely, its something I won't rely on, but I throw my hopes up there hoping that them man upstairs hears me out again. :)*********************Music: Whenever, Wherever, WhateverArtist: MaxwellAlbum: Maxwell's Urban Hang SuiteLead me on girl if you mustTake my heart and my loveTake of me all that you mustAnd if there's a thing that you needI'd give you the breath that I breathe'N if ever you yearn for the love in meWhenever Wherever Whatever
Wish I knew if I couldBe the one that you wouldLove forever 'n a day babyAnd if there's a thing that you needFor you 'n your blood I would bleedWhenever Wherever WhateverAnd if there's a thing that you needI'd give you the breath that I breathe'N if ever you yearn for the love in meWhenever Wherever Whatever
Monday, November 06, 2006
Day Of ReckoningSo the results are in. Tonight before I go to work, I will be talking to HR and they will verbally deliver the outcome of their deliberation. Although there will be a formal letter handed out, I am quite anxious of the verdict. I've prayed hard and so did my friends. I'm just hoping that this would be favourable to me. Most importantly, I hope that the lessons of this experience will be inculcated in our minds, and strive to make better resolutions to avoid the same sticky situations.I am thankful to all my friends who had helped me in prayer and in encouragement. You all know that I'll always be there for each of you. :)********************Finally! I have found the lyrics of the end theme song for Voltes V. Let me post the lyrics.Chichi Wo MotometeSung by: Mizuki Ichirou, Koorogi '73Lyrics: Aoi AkiraComposition: Kobayashi AseiArrangement: Takada Hiroshioya ni hagureta hinadori mo
itsuka wa yasashii futokoro ni
aeru ashita mo aru darou
da no ni naze meguriaenu chichi no kage
naku mono ka boku wa otoko da
shinjite'ru shinjite'ru sono hi no koto wo
kono te de chichi wo dakishimeru hi no koto wono ni saku hana mo tsuyukusa mo
itsuka wa hito to meguriaeru
kataru yube mo aru darou
da no ni naze otozurenai shiawase ga
naku mono ka boku wa otoko da
taete matsu taete matsu sono hi ga kuru to
te wo tori chichi wo waraiau hi ga kuru tomikadzuki wo oou murakumo mo
itsuka wa kaze ga fukiharai
kagayaku yoru mo aru darou
da no ni naze kiramekanai chichi no hoshi
naku mono ka boku wa otoko da
tatakau zo tatakau zo sono hi no tame ni
kono te ni chichi wo torimodosu hi no tame niEnglish Translation: Searching For FatherThere will be a tomorrow
when even this little bird that turned from his parents
can someday return to their kind bosom, right?
Yet why can't I even meet father's shadow?
Am I going to cry? No way, I'm a man.
I believe, I believe in that day,
the day I embrace my father in my arms.Someday the flowers of the field and grass of the rainy season
shall meet someone.
Perhaps there will come a day I can say so.
Yet why doesn't happiness come?
Am I going to cry? No way, I'm a man.
I shall endure. I shall bear and wait for that day to come,
the day when I can hold father's hand and laugh with him.Someday the winds shall sweep away
the clouds hung over the crescent moon
Perhaps there will be a brilliant night
Yet why doesn't father's star shine?
Am I going to cry? No way, I'm a man.
I shall fight, I shall fight for that day,
for the day I take back father with my own hands.********************Music: River Of LoveArtist: Roachford
Friday, November 03, 2006
HalloweenFinally October is done. One more month before the real deal of holiday season kicks in.As of this writing, no update yet on the status of my Case. I am being optimistic that things would turn out right.In line with career talks, I also had an interview yesterday at Accenture. It seems that I made a good impression with my interviewer as the words he used were "You are a very fascinating person, having so much passion with what you do." The time I spent in Sykes definitely helped mould me to be a better manager. I'm looking to broaden my horizons and focus more on a career growth, not just get another job. He did mention that I'll be scheduled for another interview.Good luck to me!******************Holiday shopping hath begun. Its annoying that I have a huge amount to pay for my credit card. I'm sure I'll be able to settle it with HIS help. :)And so I've got plenty of things I'd love to get for the holidays. I just hope to remember that I should shop for others first, then myself. :)******************Music: Empty StreetsArtist: Late Night Alumni
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