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QUE TE CALLAS IDIOTA!

QUE TE CALLAS IDIOTA!

Today was a day that could've been a great day to meet my possible and yet all I did was snub all of those chances. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?

Am I being too righteous to the point of sacrificing my personal happiness for my family's sake? Or am I scared shit that when they find out that I'm gay and have a relationship with another man and disown me?

When I rode the MRT this morning on my way to Fitness First Fort, I was beside this guy who was good looking. We caught each other's eye and began to make a connection. All I did was to smile and look the other way. I didn't know what I was thinking, but everytime I gazed upon him, he drew a smile towards me. I smiled back again and looked somewhere else. STUPID ME! For all I know, he just wanted to make friends. STUPID STUPID STUPID!

*sigh* I have got to do something about these things. I am condemning myself for trying to find happiness...all because of fear of my family, fear of my creator, and fear that my religion shall send me to the depths of hell. My religion taught me how to fear God, love God, hate everything that is evil and unholy. I have accepted myself for what and who I am, but this credo is what's killing me.

********************

Artist: Sweetest Taboo
Music: Sade
Album: Sade Live

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 25, 2006 at 3:09 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

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