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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
And here we go again.We've reached that time of the year wherein freaky things happen. With work, it is contract renewal season with my clients. With my boss, its target and budget preparation for next year. With life, Aunt Z's survival hangs in balance.I loved talking to Auntie especially during that days when she had a jollier disposition. Eventually, she began to decline as her siblings (Auntie S and Dad) eventually passed away. I guess that her loneliness is at its utmost peak. Among my brothers, I see myself in this path in the distant future. At least Auntie has lived her life to her fullest, though she could've been more inspite of her condition.I pray that God bless her with more. I know she is supposed to see more out of life than this. In the end, I leave it to God. It is His decision to make.
 
Saturday, October 03, 2009
The past couple of weeks has been quite exhausting and sad.
I'm thankful that I've been very busy with work, if not, I would've felt the brunt of this feeling of emptiness that has been lurking around. I'm happy that mum's in the US when the typhoon Ketsana hit Manila. I'm happy that she's finally gotten some time off from the lonely life in Manila, and got the chance to catch up with her siblings.
I'm sad as I do miss her being around. Somehow, its only me and mum that has the mother & son tandem in our family. Kuya Joel has Trixie and the coming child. Kuya Mike has HJ and Mat. Me, I'm solo. After seeing the film In My Life this evening, it donned to me that I am lonely. However, I'm lucky to be in the comfort of my mum. Without her around, I don't think I'd keep my level head and steady frame of thinking.
In our lives, we always need someone to anchor us from being carried away by the strong currents of life. When we lose the anchor, we drift towards wherever the water is headed. Mama misses daddy so much, and us kids haven't been that around for her. I honestly try my best to live my own life, because I know that I have to start mine sooner or later, whether it be single or with someone. Inspite of her loneliness, I can definitely say that she has been blessed to have found such love, a love that I've yet to find. The feeling of being with loved and loving back, other than that of the family.
Kung saan man ako dadalhin ng tadhana, sane ito'y matanggap ko at mahrap ko ng maluwag sa aking kalooban. Na maging masaya ako at payapa.
For now, I'll be going back to living the reality, and look forward to the day that He will come.
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