Thursday, August 12, 2004
2004-08-12 23:35:55 (GMT)
Frustrations...road to Anger and Disappointment
There comes a point in time of our lives wherein we get to a crossroad. A life changing decision needs to be made, else things stay stagnant. In reaching that point, there are many underlying circumstances and situations that bring about that crossroad.
The people around you including the environment helps in making the decision easier to make. Right now, I have reached that crossroad. Staying with Sykes or moving on. I always thought that I had a perfect working relationship with my clients, my reps and my superiors. I treat them with utmost respect as I would have wanted them to treat me.
Recently, these have changed. To be specific, the client changed its relationsihp with me. I always maintained the same level of warmth and interaction even if there were some instances wherein the client actually looked down on my abilities and intelligence.
I respect other people's opinion of me, as we are all entitled to our own. But to insult the intelligence of a person and discount the credibility is another issue. I have reached this position in my career through constant perseverance and openness to judgement. I have swallowed my pride even to the point of agreeing to their incorrect assumption of things. There have been times wherein I was even deprived of the chance to explain myself. In other words, there is no justice.
It is just ironic that the practise of being fair and impartial to my reps is something that I have been deprived of. All of this frustrations and negative emotions are attributed to two (2) people. One of them is a weak and pathetic person that runs to her manager whenever she cannot confront me. The other, a self proclaimed, overconclusive creature that always jumps on an issue without even looking throug the details of what had truly transpired. The first person, having been recommended by someone from the upper management, is someone who is very indecisive and weak. And the other being a protector, tends to blindly lambast me without giving me the chance to explain.
These things frustrate me more and more each day. Aside from dealing with the fact that this is a thankless job, I get this. I have been with this team long enough to know how I stand and fare amongst my colleagues. What I am going through right now was something that I have never encountered before. In the past, whenever someone had an issue with me, they talk to me upfront. The fact is I had learned that in order to know what others think about me, I have to be open to feedback. I always take feedback seriously. Sometimes, personally...depending on the approach and delivery and sometimes depending on who is giving their feedback. Yet, a feedback is a feedback and should always be acknowledged.
Ayoko na. Nakakapagod makipagusap sa mga bingi at maangas. Hindi naman nakatapos ng kolehiyo, nagmamagaling sa wikang ingles. Tang ina! Yung isa saksakan ng tanga. Simpleng salita lang ang ginagamit ko, pero hindi pa maintindihan. Bakit sa iba sa kanila, hindi ako nagkaroon ng ganoong problema? Ginagawa nila akong tanga. Tapos ako ng kolehiyo at matataas ang mga markang nakuha ko. Alam ko na meron ako katalinuhang higit sa kanila. Nilulunok ko na lang ang lahat ng sinasabi at iminumungkahi nila kahit alam kong labag sa aking kalooban. Higit sa lahat, sila ay taksil sapagkat inilihim nila sa akin ang lahat ng mga bagay na dapat kong malaman. Kung gusto nila akong patalsikin, aalis ako pero dapat lang na maipakita nilang makatarungan ang mga sanhi sa kanilang ninanais.
In conclusion to all this, this world is full of people who pretend. Some pretend to be your friends, others your confidante and some even your lovers. Nevertheless, losing trust is something that should never happen. If it does, your life is bound for eternal misery and infinite sadness. I hope that I will never get to that state. If I do, death is the only way out. Suicidal? NO. Its just that there is no other way.
For now, life carries on. I should keep a straight face even though this is a blow to my very personality. I cannot afford to influence my reps to feel the same. I would rather have them find out for themselves, on what its like to have power, yet not able to exercise it. To have the ability to speak yet be unheard. It is just sad that it has come to this point for me. I just wish this wouldn't happen to my colleagues.
