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Friday, November 28, 2008
So I was chatting with a former co-worker 2 days ago, and we were chatting about life and updates from each other. Somehow, my relationship with her was very open. I guess its because we're both on the flip side of the coins. Odd enough, she was hoping I'd go on a group date with someone she would reckon to me.Today, I'm more inclined to focus on working out, and spending some hermit time. Sad enough, it won't be a case of me mingling with people, but simply quality time on my own.It is also the perfect opportunity to get some much needed rest; window shopping for the fast approaching holidays. I haven't made a list, but definitely it has been trimmed down. Plus, with the onset of rising prices of everything, I'll have to be creative on the gifts I'd choose to give out and people to give them to.***** ***** ***** *****
 
Thursday, November 27, 2008
I'm trying to understand where I went wrong. Did I set the wrong expectation? Did I say that "YES! We will buy..." *sigh*
It frustrates me that I always end up being on the losing side when I talk to you. Truth is, its not about winning or who's wrong or right. Its all about what is given.
I looked in the dictionary and got the definition of the words canvassing and estimate. Both terms does not mean "to buy," rather it expresses the intent to engage with a transaction in a future time.
I almost collapsed in the middle of the road when you told me that the restorers picked up the dining chairs and sofa set for reupholstering. During our earlier conversations, I mentioned if you could ask on the payment terms and how long would it take to finish. I NEVER MENTIONED THAT WE WILL GO AHEAD WITH THE REUPHOLSTERING! My god! 30K for reupholstering! I know that it will be money well spent, but it wasn't part of the budget.
Ngayon, kasalan ko pa na hindi ako naging malinaw. Kung sabagay, TANGA NGA NAMAN AKO. Bakit pa kita sinama sa mall para tumingin. Eh di ba kaya nga ang ginamit na salita ay TUMINGIN at hind BUMILI. I refuse to believe that was being unclear and misleading.
WORSE of all, hinalukay mo na naman lahat ng kasalanan ko mula pagkabata. Sinabihan mo pa akong ipagkumpara kita sa ibang magulang na humingi ng regular na umento. I love our home. It is where I grew up and I never questioned ONE SINGLE BIT on my responsibilities. However, I have my life to live and look after. Its ironic that you always tell us to save up, and plan for the future. Sad to say, I couldn't do that. All I have right now are frustrations that I can't help you with your problems, and I feel that I am a worthless son.
It is painful when you talk to me and confide about the problems we face. But it seems like you've given up on everything. My prayers are always about hoping that we could get through this. Sometimes, I can't help but think that it would be better if I get killed in an accident or something so that all of the insurance money would be yours so you could have a better life that I couldn't give when I was alive. Nakakapagod. I press on not to give up, but how I see things, you've left it all to God. God helps those who help themselves.
I am tired. Meds are making me groggy. I will rest for now. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm sure it will be much better.
At the end of it all, malaki pa rin ang pasasalamat ko at mayroon akong kama at bahay na inuuwian. Higit pa sa lahat ng mga problemang ito ang mga biyaya na taglay naming mag-anak.
***** ***** ***** *****
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Its been four years since dad passed away. Life has moved on since then, but still a lot of things stayed the same. It pains me to think that I never took the chance to tell him how much I love him.I had my personal issues and still do, but I can't dwell on them any longer. I let them stand in the way, and that taught me a painful lesson.I've always been comfortable in my loneliness ever since. I felt that I was too complete to have someone else in my life. Yet, it feels at times that there's a missing piece. A piece that would make life worth more than just living. I know the thoughts of this post seem incoherent. I'm just writing everything so I won't forget.Anyway, I'm envious of mum. She's always kept a strong love for my dad inspite of the many years and months that they would have to be apart. Him being a sea farer, mum was tasked with the burden of looking after the family and keeping it together. It was a sacrifice that they did for us since they wanted what was best for us; a comfortable life and a bright future.Life is about to get tougher in the next few years. I'm optimistic the we'll get through it. I'm not sure though on how we'll face it.I saw the film The Curiosity of Chance. The music was during my time... the 80s! Anyway, I love the movie. It brings so much hope especially for someone like me who's still looking for Mr. Right or Just Right to be exact. :)***** ***** ***** *****Music: Never SurrenderArtist: Corey Hart Corey Hart - Never Surrender
Video sent by jpdc11
Friday, November 07, 2008
I love this song to pieces! The first time I heard this was when I bought the soundtrack of Batman and Robin. It was a B-side of the song The End is the Beginning is the End (The latter being more of a noise and clang!) This one carries a very heavy tempo whilst accompanied by strong electronic beats that makes one cringe due to the eerie essence of the music.So the lyrics goes...The Beginning is the End is the BeginningSend a heartbeat toThe void that cries through youRelive the pictures that have come to passFor now we stand aloneThe world is lost and blownAnd we are flesh and blood disintegrateWith no more to hateIs it bright where you areHave the people changedDoes it make you happy you're so strangeAnd in your darkest hourI hold secrets flameWe can watch the world devoured in it's painDelivered from the blastThe last of a line of lastsThe pale princess of a palace crackedAnd now the kingdom comesCrashing down undoneAnd I am a master of a nothing placeOf recoil and graceIs it bright where you areHave the people changedDoes it make you happy you're so strangeAnd in your darkest hourI hold secrets flameWe can watch the world devoured in it's painTime has stopped before usThe sky cannot ignore usNo one can separate usFor we are all that is leftThe echo bounces off meThe shadow lost beside meThere's no more need to pretendCause now I can begin againIs it bright where you areHave the people changedDoes it make you happy you're so strangeAnd in your darkest hourI hold secrets flameWe can watch the world devoured in it's painStrangeStrangeStrange
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
So last Tuesday, I brought my iPod 160 to Powermac for service.I was able to completely back up my files from the hard drive portion to my brother's 1Tb myBook. It felt like I was surrendering a part of me to someone.Then the receptionist performed the initial diagnosis, and thankfully experienced the same errors that I encountered. I gave my personal recommendation for unit replacement because if they tinker and replace something (free of charge since it is still under warranty!), another problem would soon stem from it. So rather than put me through that awful process, save everyone's time by just replacing it with a new unit. :)I have to wait for 2 - 3 weeks to hear from them.In the meantime, I'm unsure if I should get an iPod shuffle or Nano to provide by temporary source of entertainment. Hmmmm...***** ***** ***** ******Music: Angel On My ShoulderArtist: Natalie Cole
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Being busy is what most people dread. I've realised before that being busy is good. It only shows that there's work to be done, and that the company needs my services to help solve their problems.I'm thankful that through the many experiences I've had in the BPO helped groom me to the myriad of challenges that I face. I know that I'll be facing more of them in the next few months a I now take on the new mantle of Account Lead. YES! Truth be told that my title has been shifted from Work Product Expert to Account Lead. Sadly, there's no change in compensation. Its a lateral move for me thus the said consequence.What would keep me? I would like to know how the challenging task of contract renewal goes. This is something that I need to learn along with the world of numbers and gross profits. HA!Anyway, I'm positive that with Kat's experience and my resilience, we will be a good team to make our branch better.***** ***** ***** *****I'm saddened that my iPod's clickwheel is not responding. I've been backing up my files for the past 24 hours so that when I bring it to the service centre for warranty replacement, my stuff is all in good place. :)This will be the perfect opportunity for my ears to rest a bit.***** ***** ***** *****Music: Love Don't Live Here AnymoreArtist: Madonna
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