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Monday, October 31, 2005
Love and Life; Recovering From The Pain And Rising From The AshesLast Saturday, the whole family paid a visit to dad at the cemetery. It has been almost a year since his passing. I must admit that I miss him and had really ill feelings about his death. I felt cheated about it. But it was quite unusual that last Saturday, my mind was at peace. I had not strong emotions. All the thoughts I had were all of happiness and serenity. Like Jim said, "Time heals all wounds." I must agree that even if it is a cliche, it is very true.Afterwards, we took the chance to have lunch together as a family. The next day was Kuya and Ate's 1st Wedding Anniversary. Congratulations!!! I hope you guys all the best in married life.************So Sunday morning was the usual routine. Worship and then lunch with Mum. After we split, I was at the mall doing some pre-christmas shopping whilst cruising at boys/men. It was cool that I got to do this as I haven't done it in a long time. I have to admit that there were quite a few that I had a moment of exchanged glances. I wish I could've done more, but right now, I'm chicken shit.************It hurts to know that even if I can love you with all that I can give, I know that you won't give it back the way I expect you to. We are different and yet we are very much the same. I die with envy everytime I see you beside her. Inside I feel that all I could do is wish I was her and it does happen, but only in dreams. Yet, I am very much happy that you welcomed be to be part of your life. I am extremely grateful for that. I love you.************The 80s are the best time for me. The music was just as good as the happy days I had. Here are a couple of songs that I really like.Under Pressure - Queen featuring David BowieWords - Missing PersonsNo More Words - BerlinVoices Carry - Til TuesdayHuman - Human LeagueDon't You Want Me - Human LeagueDeadbeat Club - B52sI've already posted Scandal's The Warrior and The Pretender's Don't Get Me Wrong. I'll be adding some more later.************Music: My Sensual MindArtist: Anggun
 
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Wicked Weekend Songs To Listen ToI've posted the lyrics of a couple of songs I've been listening to perk me up. Normally, these tracks are something stuck in our CD shelves, but I've been brave enough to listen to them. Amazingly, I've got some of my co-workers appreciating the songs, and hear some of them actually singing along.***********Music: UninvitedArtist: Alanis Morissette
Like anyone would beI am flattered by your fascination with meLike any hot blooded womanI have simply wanted an object to craveBut you're not allowedYou're uninvitedAn unfortunate slightMust be strangely excitingTo watch the stoic squirmMust be somewhat hearteningTo watch shepard meet shepardBut you're not allowedYou're uninvitedAn unfortunate slightLike any uncharted territoryI must seem greatly intriguingYou speak of my love likeYou have experienced like mine beforeBut this is not allowedYou're uninvitedAn unfortunate slightI don't think you unworthyI need a moment to deliberate***********Music: The WarriorArtist: Scandal featuring Patti Smyth
You run, run, run awayIt's your heart that you betrayFeeding on your hungry eyesI bet you're not so civilized
Well isn't love primitiveA wild gift that you wanna giveBreak out of captivityAnd follow me stereo jungle childLove is the killYour heart's still wild
Shooting at the walls of heartacheBang, bangI am the warriorWell I am the warriorAnd heart to heart you'll winIf you survive the warrior, the warriorYou talk, talk, you talk to meYour eyes touch me physicallyStay with me we'll take the nightAs passion takes another bite, ohWho's the hunter, who's the gameI feel the beat call your nameI hold you close in victoryI don't wanna tame your animal styleYou won't be caged in the call of the wild
Shooting at the walls of heartacheBang, bangI am the warriorWell I am the warriorAnd heart to heart you'll winIf you survive the warrior, the warriorI am the warrior
Shooting at the walls of heartacheBang, bangI am the warriorAnd heart to heart you'll winIf you survive the warrior, the warrior***********Music: Don't Get Me WrongArtist: The PretendersDon't get me wrongIf I'm looking kind of dazzledI see neon lightsWhenever you walk byDon't get me wrongIf you say "Hello" and I take a rideUpon a sea where the mystic moonIs playing havoc with the tideDon't get me wrongDon't get me wrongIf I'm acting so distractedI'm thinking about the fireworksThat go off when you smileDon't get me wrongIf I split like light refractedI'm only off to wanderAcross a moonlit mileOnce in awhileTwo people meetSeemingly for no reasonThey just pass on the streetSuddenly thunder, shower everywhereWho can explain the thunder and rainBut there's something in the airDon't get me wrongIf I come and go like fashionI might be great tomorrowBut hopeless yesterdayDon't get me wrongIf I fall in the "mode of passion"It might be unbelievableBut let's not say "so long"It might just be fantasticDon't get me wrong
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Constant ChangeI noticed that our group has begun to change. Each becoming more engrossed in living their own lives. I see that as something good. It feels reassuring that we all have things to do outside our own small clusters.**********Last Sunday, Meng and I along with Thina and her beau, indulged in a night of merriness at Friday's. We had some chicken fingers and the booze to come along with it. How I love my Vodka!!! It was reliving my college days of having mixed drinks at the pub whilst listening to good music, chatting incessantly and laughing like there was no care in the world. Of course, all that would be a temporal escape. Later on, things will slowly get back to reality and everything is no longer pleasant.**********I'm just curious on why happiness can be so fleeting. Our lives experience a great deal of pressure, heartache, frustrations and sorrow and yet, it all vanishes with one stroke of a simple moment of joy. This proves that we should cherish every moment that we live as no matter how ugly situations may become, there is always a possiblity to turn things around. Carpe Diem. An expression that I always failed to comprehend. My dear friend Niki has always believed in this expression, and I admire her for actually living it.The society I'm in is focused more on anticipating the future resulting to loads of anxiety. Insurance. A sound investment for the coming generation. The odd part is, how can we be sure about the future? There are no guarantees. Everything is bound to change and even the hardest of steel will bend with stress and heat. It is a certified truth that change is the only constant factor in all existence.**********The next few weeks are bound to get very interesting.Work:A lot of changes are taking place. I hope we can all catch up and be solid as we evolve to a better us.Personal:
Anniversaries will be remembered. My eldest brother's First wedding anniversary. My dad's first year of passing. It will be a torrential extremes of celebrations. One for the living and another for the dearly departed. I'm just hoping that I have really leapt forward into accepting that things are no longer the same with our family. **********Music: I Will Remember YouArtist: Sarah McLachlan
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
IndulgenceIt has been a long time since I last posted on my blog. Everything has been evolving lately. Some from good to bad. Others from bad to worse. On the other hand, there are still good things that overshadow the disappointments and sadness.**********Last Sunday, I saw Corpse Bride with Ben and Sheila. It was a very entertaining film. The story is quite predictable, but was effectively conveyed through the animation. **********Indulgence was the key word of the day. I had lunch with mum at our favourite Sunday lunch place. Fried bean curd, Rice noodles and Tempura. Don't forget the Almond jelly drink to cap off the filling lunch.Dinner, we ate at Dulcinea and had Paella Valencia. I haven't had it soooooooooo long that it was a dinner made in heaven. For dessert, we ordered churros with hot chocolate. I tell you, it was just a moment of extreme dining pleasure for me.I've gained lots of unwanted kilos. How annoyingly ugly. I'm back at the gym and I'm hoping to put everything on the right track. I know I'll be back in shape soon.Anyway, I need to rest as I will workout again later.Ciao!**********Music: Right Here, Right NowArtist: Jesus Jones
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Readiness Level Have you ever asked yourself if you are ready to make a big change in your life?I've asked myself that question too many times and end up with the same answer. YES. I am ready. Problem? I am LAZY. I am SCARED. I am UNSURE. So, I turned down the job offer that I've been all attentive to and decided to stay on with where I am. Somehow, reflecting on this decision, I felt that it was the right thing to do. I feel bad that somehow I may have disappointed my friend who went all out to help me. But like I told her, there are things that I cannot rush when making very important decisions. If you're reading this, I'm sorry. Another good friend and mentor told me yesterday that there are more underlying reasons on why you hesitated in taking the opportunity. 1. Readiness. Was I ready to leave the place where my happiness dwells? 2. Happiness. I am happy with where I am. Should I go to somewhere that I'm unsure if I'd find it? 3. Time. I need time in making decisions that affect my career path or even my life. 4. Obligations. It is difficult to move on from one organisation to another whilst being amidst financial obligations. Moving on, I think it was good that this had happened to me. It gives me a better perspective on being more open to the possibilities that there will be decisions to made in the least amount of time. I just hope opportunities don't stop there. I'm outta here. ************* Music: All I Want Artist: Susana Hoffs
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Decisions, Decisions!With the outcome of my interviews for higher management positions, I've realised that it is indeed nice to have a choice rather than none at all. Just last night, I had an interview with the Site Director of the Manila Operations of another prestigious Call Centre.So right now, I am putting the job on hold, and am waiting to hear from the recent interview that I've had on the Manager position for a different team within the account. ***************How can something so right feel so sad? Right now, I'm not sure if I'm feeling sad because of leaving my comfort zone or am I sad because I'm missing my second home. I am torn. Its annoying that I have to make this decision, but I know that this is part of growing up.I am going to miss a lot of my co-workers whom I have bonded with even outside of everything that's related to the office. My heart is heaving with sadness as I am nearing the closure of this chapter of my life with where I am right now. It has been a rollercoaster ride. I was hoping it wouldn't end, but as the cliché goes, all good things must come to an end.The tears I'm holding back will soon swell and pour. Right now, I have to stay focused on my goals. YES. This is the first step in being ready to face the myriad of challenges that the world will throw our way. Emotional. In a way, it is good to be emotional as it pushes me to have the passion on what I intend to achieve.I've had my moments of sadness. Now, its time to take the step into the new zone. This time I will be making my own zone for the people who will be working with me. This is going to be a big challenge and I can surely say that things will become pretty interesting.***************Music: In My PlaceArtist: Coldplay
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Climbing the Corporate LadderYesterday was a very gruelling day for me. After a very long shift, I headed to this company where I applied as an OM. It was cool enough that I was scheduled for the next round of interviews. However, it came to me as a surprise that I was going to take an assessment for FIVE blistering hours. Nope, it wasn't anything I expected at all. But hey, I'm no quitter. Since I was there, I just went ahead with it even if I know that I wasn't prepared.After five hours of non-stop labour, I decided to just up and head home as my mind was reeling from all the intensive mental calesthenics. Then I was advised that I had a scheduled interview that same evening. It felt like I was about to snap, good thing that I had the conscious reaction of saying that I wouldn't be able to do a good interview tonight as I lack rest. The HR guy was set aback with my statement. I justified that it would be unfair on my end not to be mentally prepared and lack of sleep is a very poor excuse. Alas, he did see my point and bless him, he agreed to reschedule me this coming Monday.*****************EOW (End Of the Week). Saturday and we have no volleyball practise. Damn. My arse is getting bigger by the day and I have a gut the size of a pregnant woman. Fuck! I need to go back to the gym. I'll be signing up this week so I hope that I'd have enough funds to do so. I miss attending my gym classes and seeing my gym friends sashaying on the dance floor. Ha. Tough luck. I'll be having lunch out today with my Sunday group. CLYDE! WAKE UP! You're the only person we are waiting for!We're going to watch The 40 Year Old Virgin. I've seen it in the US and it was a total blast. I knew that this movie was something I had to watch once more. Anyway, we're waiting for our model/friend to give us an update as we haven't heard from him if he's back from the grave or what. DRAMA!!!Shit. I AM HUNGRY.PS. Ivy dropped by the office today looking as if she never gave birth. DAMN! Now that's what I call genetics. Life is really unfair, so I'll be unfair to others as well. Take that!Music: 80's compilationArtist: Various Artists**********************Sad to say, we didn't get to watch the movie today. Got too caught up with work. However, we did do something different when I got frustrated that I wasn't able to focus on finishing my work. Meng ended up convincing us to go to Baywalk. It was a great change of scenery. I liked it a lot. It reminded me of Boston, only Manila Bay is a lot dirtier. Maybe we could go there again sometime and explore the nightlife it has to offer.For now, I shall sleep. My bed calls for me.
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